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Movies and Life - by Tracy

 
'A good story should surprise you as it unfolds. Then afterwards it should seem the story could only have unfolded that way.’ Ken Loach

What is the worst film you've ever seen?

October 3rd 2006 10:36
What film/s do you hate and why? Go wild and tell me....

The first ones that popped into my head are:

I Heart Huckabees - Clever and witty concept but with far too much
haphazard talking.
A Very Long Engagement - A very long film.
The Da Vinci Code - Dodgy book turned into a dodgy film with dodgy acting.
Maid in Manhattan - Too predictable.
Miss Congeniality 2 - The first one was bearable as some light-hearted escapism, but this was just ridiculously silly.
The Matrix - I was confused throughout the film, but probably my fault not the film's.

Save the Last Dance - No thanks.
The Mummy Returns - It should have stayed there.

I'm sure more will pop up but for the moment those are the ones I can think of...
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31 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Homer Joyce

October 3rd 2006 23:50
Tracey,

The list would be too long if I listed individual films, so:

Nearly every musical ever made. Cringe material. Bursting out into irritating and annoying song every time you want to say something to someone?

American “comedies”. A constant stream of sickeningly predictable one-liners, and haphazard, unrelated sketches rather than any real storyline.

Most romance films. More cringe. Instead of singing they dance at the most ‘opportune’ moment?

Most sequels (especially when the original wasn’t worth watching).

Most films with John Travolta, Chevy Chase or Steve Martin.

My winner: Epsilon (Rolf de Heer’s intergalactic love story set in the Australian outback).

Homer.

Comment by Adrienne

October 4th 2006 00:19
Oh god- Dirty Love...that shit should have never been made, ever!

Comment by Tracy

October 4th 2006 02:06
Hi Homer

I know what you mean, it's probably easier to name particular genres rather than films.

I also hate musicals, predictable American formulaic comedies and sequels.

I haven't heard of Epsilon, I'll look it up in a minute, from your description it does sound really dodgy.

Tracy

Comment by Tracy

October 4th 2006 02:13
Hi Adrienne

I hadn't heard of Dirty Love either so I looked it up:

A modern day Cinderella story which sees disaster prone Rebecca (McCarthy) embarks on an outrageous and hilarious journey in search of true love. Betrayed by her boyfriend, Richard (Webster) and following a palm reader's psychic prophecy, Rebecca goes in search of her one true soul mate.

Urghhh. Why do so many filmmakers try and create a modern-day Cinderella story? Can't they come up with something original?

It does sound crap, Adrienne. I haven't seen it and I doubt I ever will. Unless I was kidnapped and the only way I could escape were to watch that film.

Tracy


Comment by nagster

October 4th 2006 03:02
Almost every movie I saw last year: Serenity, War of the Worlds, Syriana, Failure to Launch, Zathura etc etc. As for the rest, can't remember them

Comment by Tracy

October 4th 2006 03:16
Hi Nagster

I was also thinking of those big blockbuster ones too, like War of the Worlds, blah blah blah. I didn't see it as I thought I could do something better with three hours than donate it to Hollywood.

I thought Syriana would be better though? A friend has lent to it to me, but I haven't watched it yet. Actually... I just read its synopsis and maybe it's the mood I'm in, but it sounds dull as all hell. The typeface of the synopsis was so small that I was bored with that, I hate squinting to read the back of DVDs. Hmm, so even though it's in my house, I'm not rushing into the lounge room to watch it. I might even give it back.

What a joyous little creature I am today.

Comment by spain01

October 4th 2006 03:37
The Pokemon Movie I am afraid eclipses all others. Whenever one is obliged to go to a bad movie, in order to endure it, you have to task the intellect to extract something from it. This got me passed most of the Elvis movies on the basis of his clear unchallenged skill in his particular art form. Movies like the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes or its parody the Attack of the Killer Tongue were spine tingling in their awful authority. The Pokemon Movie represented all that has become sick in Japanese Culture, maudlin, hypocritical and in the end toxic to the imaginations of the poor children who saw it.

Comment by Tracy

October 4th 2006 05:22
Hi Spain01

I haven't seen Pokemon and have never had the inclination to see it either. I know what you mean about seeing a film because you have to and then trying to find something remotely positive about the experience. I think sometimes it's good to just declare something is rubbish and leave it at that. To me, if I have to try really hard to grasp something decent from a film, then there is something wrong. It's interesting though, as Pokemon was surrounded by so much hype and so many children were mesmerised by it.

Tracy

Comment by Cibbuano

October 4th 2006 08:00
I really couldn't stand Battlefield Earth with John Travolta... it was excerable...

Predictable romance movies like Maid in Manhattan really bother me, too...


Comment by Tracy

October 4th 2006 08:06
Yes, I could probably clump all those formulaic, Hollywood, happy-ending type films into an only-when-you-are-sick-and-desperate genre.

Battlefield Earth sounds dodgy, I haven't seen that one either. Was that an accidental viewing?

Comment by Cibbuano

October 4th 2006 23:21
I read the book and it was a good story - it could have been a fantastic movie, I think, but Travolta destroyed it... crappy 'artsy' camera effects, terrible special effects, bad acting.


Comment by Tracy

October 4th 2006 23:36
That's a pity when that happens. John Travolta has been in some very dodgy films....

Comment by Tracy

October 4th 2006 23:37
But I thought he was great in Pulp Fiction....

Comment by Chantal

October 6th 2006 11:47
I love I Heart Huckabees but I do enjoy witty banter!

For me Godzilla springs to mind... oh actually, I have a suggestion, I personally love this film because it was the first R rated film I ever watched but (and it's title will tell you why everyone else hates it) you HAVE to see Nudist Colony Of The Dead before you die!!

Comment by Tracy

October 6th 2006 22:18
Hi Chantal

Yes, most people I know loved I Heart Huckabees. I thought it was very clever and witty, but all the talking drove me nutty.

I hadn't heard of the Nudist Colony film you mentioned....so I looked it up and found this synopsis:

Judge Rhinehole orders the Sunny Buttocks Nudist Camp closed down as an affront to the community. The members of the camp enter into a suicide pact, but vow to return for vengeance. Five years later, a group of campers on a retreat argue with each other about religion and sing big production numbers as the group begins experiencing an attrition problem.

I don't think I'll be seeing it, Chantal!!

And yes, Godzilla did look very dodgy....


Comment by spain01

October 7th 2006 01:06

Comment by Tracy

October 7th 2006 02:37
Hi Spain01

I don't think that's a terrible confession, but do you feel better for saying it? That's the important thing....

I think that we don't have to like certain films just because most people liked it...in fact I know a few people that have said the same thing about The Piano. I liked it but I could understand why some people didn't.

Tracy

Comment by MelissaA

October 8th 2006 11:23
I seem to remember being very bored and falling asleep during Bruce Willis' Last Man Standing - now before you all laugh at me for even seeing such tripe, I was actually being paid to see it. No joke!

As for absolute loathing - I hate how there is now a range of kid's Barbie Movies - Barbie as the swan in Swan lake, Barbie as the principle character in other numerous fairytales belonging to children of other names....Get a grip, you don't muck with the classics by inserting a new and shiny charcter, not to mention the fact that I hate Barbie with a vengeance in general.

Luckily for me, the kids aren't that keen on her either, although my little one is starting to sway due to the lurid promises of playing with Barbie's belonging to another little friend of hers.

Comment by Cibbuano

October 8th 2006 22:17
Chantal, I've never heard of that Nudist Colony movie, but it sounds fantastic!


Comment by Tracy

October 8th 2006 23:13
Hello Melissa

Thanks for your comments. I had only vaguely heard of Last Man Standing, so I looked it up and actually found a complimentary synopsis which I thought was quite amazing because I had already formed an opinion without seeing the film. My opinion being that it sounded like a pile of rubbish. Here's the article:

Last Man Standing manages to merge elements of art/violence and gritty gore in such a perfect way that you can marvel at the fireworks as you watch Bruce Willis lob off several rounds from a 45 and still feel the agony as said bullets scrape their way into bullish thugs who grunt and fall over into the unholy contortions of a villain’s death.

I can't believe that there is a resurgence of Barbieness happening in the world. I thought that Barbie had been kicked to the kerb....I really hope your kids stay strong like you and say 'no to Barbie'.

Comment by Tracy

October 8th 2006 23:14
Hi Cib

I was thinking that the Nudist Colony film would appeal to some people.....hope you enjoy it!

Comment by Chantal

October 10th 2006 05:07
No no... I'll be the first to admit it's truly terrible! But very amusing as long as you dont mind such a misuse of your time (dont watch it on your deathbed)

It's funny, sometimes I see awful movies and want other people to see them so we can share the pain... such as My Boss's Daughter. That was a truly awful film but I told my family they should hire it and didnt tell them till after that I knew how awful it was, I just thought we could share the love!

Comment by Tracy

October 10th 2006 10:33
Hi Chantal

I have to admit to seeing that kind of film-The Boss' Daughter when it's cheapie day at the video shop and I need some escapism...but usually about half-way through I realise I've had enough escapism and can't bear the nonsense anymore so I start mooching around the house and end up watching it with one eye...only for the fact that I forked out some money for it, so therefore I should at least see how it ends, but with those sorts of films you know the ending within the first ten minutes anyhoo.

I like your idea of sharing the pain with your family, that's quite altruistic of you. What did they think of the film?

Tracy

Comment by Tracy

October 10th 2006 10:35
Sorry about that really long sentence in my last post...it's been a loong day....

Comment by Luke

October 11th 2006 07:10
oh man, I loved I Heart Huckabees and The Matrix... I thought they were both ace. A Very Long Engagement was quite good too.

I hated Boondock Saints and Rebel.

Comment by Tracy

October 12th 2006 07:33
Shallow Hal...why did I watch that tripe?

Comment by Tracy

October 27th 2006 03:19
Hi Lizard

I didn't see that film as I thought it was too media-hyped, bordering on too ridiculous....

Tracy

Comment by postmoderncritic

November 25th 2006 08:44
John Tucker Must Die really gives Road Trip a run for it's money... here's my mini-review. ;o)
I agree with Cib re: Maid in Manhattan. Monster-In-Law was also a total waste of time.
Tracy, what did you find confusing about The Matrix?

Comment by postmoderncritic

November 25th 2006 08:48
Oh, I forgot to mention Calcium Kid, which is a horrible British mockumentary about a milkman-turned-boxing hero starring Orlando Bloom. I don't have the words to articulate just how awful it was...

Comment by postmoderncritic

November 25th 2006 08:53
I just realised that I made a Worst Movies list on my rottentomatoes.com blog, so here we go -

1 1/10 Road Trip (2000)
2 1/10 American Pie (1999)
3 1/10 Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
4 1/10 The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
5 1/10 Sin City (2005)
6 1/10 The Hot Chick (2002)
7 1/10 Catwoman (2004)
8 1/10 The Waterboy (1998)
9 2/10 Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
10 2/10 Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)
11 2/10 Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
12 2/10 Wedding Crashers (2005)
13 2/10 Anger Management (2003)
14 2/10 The Mummy Returns (2001)
15 3/10 Charlie's Angels (2000)
16 2/10 The Haunting (1999)
17 2/10 Elizabethtown (2005)

As you can probably tell, I really don't like Orlando Bloom... ;o)


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