If she were here
March 1st 2007 09:28
If she were here
Maybe we’d watch television together,
Maybe we’d talk,
Or maybe we wouldn’t.
That would be OK too.
If she were here,
Maybe we’d go out clubbing,
We’d dance to The Smiths
With our arms poking around in the air
Sing each word with loud emphatic belief.
That would be OK too.
If she were here
Maybe we’d go shopping,
Maybe we’d sit in a café,
Or a pub
And talk, drink and laugh for hours.
That would be OK too.
If she were here
We’d probably sit in the lounge,
Light up a big spliff,
Talk rubbish, laugh loudly
And sing to The Smiths
That would be OK too.
But only if she were still here
If only she were still here.
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Comment by Wendi
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
many hugs to you
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
i'm sitting here, not knowing how to reply. I think perhaps to just say; it hurts, and i understand..
love and hugs to you Tracy..
~Lily
btw, i love the mosaic picture, a beautiful piece of art..
Comment by David
There's a lot I could write about this poem ...
But nearly everything I write about poetry, or any subject in general? (especially to women on this site) is taken in bad [ill] grace ... as though I know nothing about poetry ... or the creative-writing process, or about the very nature of life itself ...
Rather than offer constructive criticism of your poem (which I'd love to offer to improve it, for it does have ... na forget it ... even that will be seen as me just being a judgemental hypocrite) ... misconstrued as evil David again ...
I'll just vote for it, okay? ...
And let women look at my horns, tail and pitchfork ... *
And get on their private messaging network service and write ... 'Did you read what that evil bastard wrote on Tracy's Blog? ...
I'll just leave all of the mature, modern women Bloggers who know so much more than I do about writing, poetry and life itself to work it all out for themselves ... (even though they already know everything? ... ***
And this is not about you, okay?
This is about the girls who read all of my comments, regardless of where I post a comment ... In all honesty? ... I like you as a Blogger ... If you really want some constructive criticism on this poem or feedback ... You can PM me ... (on one conditon though ... What I send you is never forwarded on to anyone else ... If you can promise me that ... I'll offer you some ... If you don't want any? No skin off my nose ...
What I'm basically saying is this ...
I'm a hermit ... I don't need a woman in my life ... I have my two hands ... * (And, not a copy of the DVD with Bryan Brown and Heath Ledger in it ... okay? *
I wonder how this comment will go down ... ? *
Um, like a brick dildo? ...
David ...
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Your comment was interesting and perplexing at the same time. I probably should've said this is a rough poem, certainly something not well-polished. I just wanted to get the essence down and push myself out of my comfort zone (it's nice in there).
I'll probably PM you for some feedback, as long as it's not too harsh, I'm a softie.
Byeee
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Thanks for your comments and thoughts, they are always appreciated.
'm glad you like the pic too, it's meant to be The Tree of Life, but I'm not sure I see that...do you? Maybe I'm being too literal. But I love it anyway.....and mosaics...
Byeee
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
It is ok.
Said with loud emphatic belief.
much warmth T.
Dusk
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Grief , loss and loneliness, I cannot judge, just appreciate any sincere expression of pain.
Comment by Miss Nomer
If only..................
My favourite? saying....
Bittersweet memories
x
Miss Nomer
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
..to me? this is profound, deep and haunting...
A melancholy, only women share?
I loved your reflection...
Lilla ...
Comment by yoda76
The Tube Blog
Nice. Sad. *hug*
No offense to David, but don't bother with the 'constructive feedback'. This is beautiful, and is so because it is a genuine expression of emotion, rough or otherwise - I can feel it. For my two cents, that's all that matters.
Keep up the good work.
Comment by Anonymous
Yay - I've found your blog!
I love your poem, it sounds just like you. I'm so impressed that you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and getting your writing 'out there'!
Love you lots,
Laur xoxo
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
It's so great to see you, I've been meaning to email you all week. Thanks for your words,
Lots of love to you too,
Trace xxxxxxxx
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Thank-you for your words, they mean a lot.
Tracy
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Thanks for your comments, I certainly enjoy your poetry,
Tracy
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Thank-you for your words and telling me what they meant to you. I certainly was in a melancholy space when I wrote this.
Tracy
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Thank-you for your thoughts. I purposely left this as a raw piece, something that I hadn't scrutinised as I wanted to feel the process of ejecting it and then some sort of relief. I really appreciate your feedback.
Tracy
PS Sorry to everyone that I took so long to reply...I was in another space....