Snakes on a Plane
May 30th 2007 01:44
After writing my last post on Blades of Glory, I realised that when I see those sort of Hollywood spoof films, my reaction is generally is subjective and dependent upon my mood. So therefore I could see such a film again and have a quite a different reaction.
With Snakes on a Plane I doubt whether I would I would ever have a different one. It was rotten with hardly any redeemable features, only that is was impressive watching it on my brother-in law’s huge plasma screen, but I can’t thank the producers for that, only my brother-in-law for his excellent taste in home theatre equipment.
The film’s plot is obvious from the title…. there are snakes on a plane.
OK I thought, surely there would be a plot strong enough to carry this through or at least the special effects would be outstanding.
We all thought it was going to be a good bad film, you know the paradox.
We were wrong. Snakes on a Plane offers broad, cheesy thrills, outlandish scenarios and cartoonish over-acting. It is a sort of parody of ridiculous disaster movies while at the same time also being a ridiculous disaster movie.
It’s predictable, follows the usual rhythmic narrative of meeting the protagonist, the reason for his journey, the passengers, the crew, we then sit back and watch an army of snakes make their computer-generated way through the plane, hiding, coiling, chomping, all those things that pheromone-enhanced snakes like to do.
OK, I suppose I should tell you a little about the storyline and not just my conjecture (although that is fun). When Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips) witnesses a murder, he is asked to fly from Hawaii to Los Angeles to testify against the notorious gangster Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson). However, Kim has paid an assassin to release a crate-full of deadly snakes loose when the plane is the air. FBI agent Neville Flynn (Samuel L Jackson) is in charge of protecting Sean on the journey. At this point, I really thought it had potential....
Nathan Phillips, an Australian actor based in LA was unconvincing both as an American and as an actor. His accent kept dropping into a distinct Aussie twang at varying times. He’s recognisable largely because of his role in Wolf Creek in 2005. His other films include Under the Radar (2004) and One Perfect Day (2004). Samuel L Jackson needs no introductions and has a huge flexography resume with films including Pulp Fiction (1994), Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) and Jurassic Park (1993). He yells a lot, yet exudes coolness and control at all times. When he finally declares, "I have had it with these m*****f****** snakes on this m*****f****** plane!" you know he's not kidding around. He means serious business….
I was impressed with the lack of time wasting, the action starts quickly. Within the first thirty minutes, the coach section of the plane is in the throes of mayhem, with capricious CGI snakes -- not one of which looks remotely real, by the way (which is one of my main gripes) -- attacking randomly with ferocius fervour.
A woman is bitten on the boob while having sex in an airplane lavatory (so there’s the mile-high segment taken care of), a man is bitten on the penis while urinating in a different lavatory (the obligatory toilet scene completed). A yappy little dog belonging to an annoying character will exit this life in the belly of a snake.
The snakes are not discriminatory, they will attack anyone. And they don’t just bite passengers. They attack the pilots, too, not to mention short-circuiting wires and causing electrical problems. People are trampling one another as they flee their legless pursuers. Children, babies, dogs, crew, luggage – all are fair game.
The film isn’t scary. It isn’t even suspenseful. Another gripe. Rather it is absurd and violent, sometimes shockingly, laughably so. Director David R. Ellis gives Snakes such a conspicuously cheap veneer that you know it's on purpose. It has to be. I can sort of understand the aim of creating a cheesy film that laughs at itself, but there was too much cheese for me. Those snakes just didn’t look real, so how I could I be scared at them?
By the end of the film - yes we didn’t switch it off, again only thanks to the large screen, I didn’t give a flying-you-know-what was on the plane. I was just glad it was all over. It was abysmal.
The three of us created a pact that we would never tell people that we saw it…but I just blew that right open as I thought I should warn people, maybe even save a life or at least time.
Click HERE for a preview....language warning....
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
I nearly put on a post with a video on this, but the site I found was taking so long to deliver the goods, it tested my patience and I guessed it would test my readers patience too.
Far too time consuming.
You've done a good job here, love the thumbs down.
katyzzz
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
I love your reviews!
I haven't watched this movie...although I do like my mindless dumb action movies...this one just looks cheesy.
And now I know for sure I won't watch it.
Hope you're well hon.
much warmth
Dusk
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
That's a pity it didn't work for you, I got my excerpt from YouTube...amazing what they have on there.
Thanks for the compliments and glad you like the thumb..I thought it was pretty apt.
Byeee
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
It's great to see you. I'm very well thanks.
Glad you like my reviews, my tongue got carried away with this one....but it felt good!!
I was just so flabbergasted at how cheesy it was...the snakes looked so fake, the dialogue completely overdone and the storyline had so many holes it could've been that cheese with the holes in it (I don't really know my cheeses, but I think you know what I mean).
Hope you're well too,
Byeee
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Your a brave woman, I havent been within 10 feet of this film yet....
Your review pretty much confirms my prejudices for the film..
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Yes, I wouldn't recommend going anywhere near this film......steer clear is my advice,
Byee
Comment by David John Burke
culinarian
culinarian ask the chef
nice site and thanks for1. checking my new site out and2 saving the time of watching snakes on a plane. which although i was not in huge danger of hiring, the cover seemed to suggest from a distance, and with out hearing anything about the film ( and if you had a bag over your head, while squinting with the lights all dimmed) that there was more to this film i wont even bother reading the back of the case now. thanks, Dave
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
It's good to see you. Yes, if you can avoid this film, I would.....It was abysmal. I thought it would be dodgy with some redeeming features like clever animation, humour or something like that, but nope...it was all crap...
Byeeee